My Grandpa isn't doing well. He lives in NY and I live in CA. He had surgery to improve the circulation in his legs so he can have better movement. He had one over the summer (my mom went out to take care of him) and unfortunately it didn't have the results we had hoped so he was told he would have to have more invasive surgery, well actually 3 of them. So my mom flew home until a month and a half ago when she flew back to NY from CA to help him through his first surgery. The results from the surgery were successful but his recovery hasn't been. He was released and then once home got sick and had to go back to the ER. He thought he had a heart attack. I don’t think he did, or if he did it was mild.
My grandfather doesn't like talking about things he thinks might worry us... He wants us to focus on our lives. He doesn't believe in funerals, he wants us to remember him when he was alive.
He is practical. He gifts stocks for Christmas so we all may have a nest egg to fall back on if we ever need it. He loves to cook and always makes sure we tell him what we want to eat before we come visit… and “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” are not answers so don’t even bother saying them.
He is conservatively generous. He believes we should have savings but has helped when it has been desperately needed like when my transmission went out after paying for a new used car. I had saved my money but spent most of the savings on purchasing the car. I came up with half and he matched it.
He is quiet. He doesn’t talk much and because of that I never realized just how much he loved me until I was 20 and had flown out to see him and my Grandmama. My first love and I had just said goodbye for the summer since he was going to Alaska to work so we could buy a home in Arizona. After a fun day of lunch and a movie my Grandpa made one stop and left me and my Grandmama in the car in the parking lot behind the building. I had no idea where we were but when he came out he had a map and a book on Alaska from the AAA. That moment still means more to me than any other.
He loves deeply. He is still so in love with my Grandmama despite her being gone for 5 years now. When she passed he had the same photo of her framed 5 times in each room and would take one to bed with him each night and talk to her. “Life just isn’t any fun without you Ceil.”
He is thoughtful. Before she passed he surprised my Grandmama with one last family Christmas. She thought my sister and mom were coming to visit my daughter and myself and that we would be going to Disneyland. I really had her going. We flew in to NY and my aunt picked us up from the airport and the next day we drove to their apartment building. My Grandmama still had no idea. As we unloaded the car with suitcases and Christmas presents on that Christmas Eve my Grandpa came down to the lobby and left my Grandmama in their apartment, well my Grandmama was never really known for patience (we are SO much alike) and so after 15 minutes of us all scrambling in the lobby she came down. She saw my mom and thought “Wow, she looks just like Joanie.” Then she saw my daughter. Now let me tell you, my daughter was 3 almost 4 years old and I had spent 2 months finding her the perfect dress. It had to be green, my Grandmama's favorite color... This was a gorgeous tea length green tartan plaid silk dress with a bow in back and the sweetest little capped sleeves. I had her dark chestnut hair pulled back in a pony tail with a red bow. She looked just like a little doll. My Grandmama knew immediately it was her great granddaughter and started crying. Tears of joy, her whole family was together on Christmas. My Grandpa gave her that. He gave us all that.
Now he is sick. My mom has been back there a month and a half. She is a brilliant web designer and online entrepreneur and so able to work from home (or anywhere there is an internet connection.) It was still summer when she went back east. Now it is fall and raining and getting colder. She thought she would be home weeks ago and made a return flight, then rescheduled it. Now the rescheduled flight has been cancelled. He just can’t live on his own anymore. I found this out on Friday when I called to tell my mom that my daughter didn’t make Treasurer but did her election rap in front of the whole school and despite not winning was very happy with herself. My mom sounded heartsick. I know she misses her home and her cats. To make matters worse she had just sent back a bunch of her belongings. Worse than that the only pair of shoes she has in NY are sandals and it’s been raining so she has been wearing her sandals with socks. I told her to go buy a pair of boots but she said my sister was sending her some things.
All weekend long that has been bugging me. My mom who raised my sister and I on her own, who watched one parent die and now is watching the other while trying to maintain her business and pay her rent and business expenses on her own has cold, soggy feet while running to the doctor appointments and grocery stores and pharmacy’s? For something so minor in comparison to everything else to even be an issue? Not my mom. So I took a page out of my Grandpa’s book. Practical, conservatively generous, loving and thoughtful I called up my mom and sent her the link to the boots on Payless.com I was looking at and asked her to pick the size and color. She chose tan… the same color I was thinking. Gentle and warm – two things I know she really needs right now. I paid overnight shipping because store pick up takes two weeks (who knew? I would think if they are in stock you could pick them up same day.) So Wednesday she will be warm and dry. She started crying on the phone, said she will think of it as a hug from my daughter and I each time she puts them on.
I figure it is just my good deed for the day and am really just paying forward all my Grandpa has done for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment