Love Is An Open Book

I have always considered myself an open book. If anything I over share and I do this mainly for the following reasons:


1. I have no regrets. I believe all my actions, whether looked at as a mistake at the time or triumph has led me to where I am now, and I genuinely feel I have a good life. Life is not perfect, there is always room for growth but I think my life is GOOD. I have a little home that despite being rented reflects who my daughter and I are and is warm and safe and full of love. We have our furry feline friends who keep us company and cuddling whether we want to or not. My daughter is getting a wonderful education in a nurturing and supportive environment. I have a car that may not be the prettiest but that I know very well and gets us where we need to go. I have a job that pays our bills and provides a bit extra. Most important, and that which brings the biggest validation to my life are the PEOPLE in my life. I love and am loved.

2. I have lived what I believe to be an inspirational life. It wasn’t easy for me growing up, I went through certain experiences that I hope no one else in the world ever has to go through, however I know they do and many people experience something worse than me. I hope that by sharing my story others see that there is a way to have a fabulous life they can love after trauma. My passion is helping people find their own joy and bliss. Sharing my life with others, being authentic in WHO I AM is the best, easiest way for me to do this. I love to give love.

I’ve been looking lately at what brings people together in relationship. I don’t just mean romantically but friendships as well. What makes people feel closer together? I think it is sharing, truly sharing. I know I feel closest and love the people in my life that I have shared the most of myself with (and are still here.) Those are the people who become the puzzle pieces in my life, without I am incomplete. I don’t mean to say I can live without them but when you open up that fully to someone over time and give them your trust then they become a part of your life, no matter for what length of time – they are a piece.

I did a seminar recently in which everyone was able to share their deepest, darkest selves in a room with over 100 people. The love that grew in the room that weekend was immeasurable. With each story shared LOVE GREW through compassion, empathy, gratitude, and trust. People felt love even for those whose names they didn’t remember - because they shared. People who didn’t want to share at first found themselves regretful they were running out of time and despite fear of public speaking challenged themselves to talk before it was over.

We use language to relate to each other. We use language to express feelings and thoughts and sometimes to just to fill the silence. Without words do others really know what we are feeling or thinking or are they just speculating? Are we responsible with our words? Are we concise so as to avoid confusing others as to what we are really thinking or feeling? Do we over use or avoid certain words in our conversations that limit the depth to which another person can know us?

Bring people closer in your life - Speak clearly and dare opening up the TRUE YOU and you will find LOVE.

Forgiveness

Sometimes when searching for peace we try to make sure we seek forgiveness from those we have done wrong and to forgive those who has done us wrong… Today I learned we don’t always need to forgive someone else but forgive the us they harmed.

When I was little someone I loved and trusted hurt me badly. This was not a one time experience but a daily experience that lasted many years. As I got older this person and I would try on different variations of our relationship like different hats and until today I had convinced myself that I had to forgive them in order to be complete with myself. I found this something I just could not do even though all the self help books and philosophies I have studied told me I can’t move forward with my life until I forgive them. Today a shift in my paradigm occurred, well not a shift really as much as a complete and total earthquake, hurricane, tornado and whatever other major movement you can think of – combined in one.

Apparently, even though I was trying to find it in myself to forgive this person and finding myself lacking in ability to do so (looking back I see now I was beating myself up for feeling a lack of compassion) it was because I was searching to find compassion for the wrong person. The person that needed that forgiveness and compassion was the little me who felt she deserved what happened to her. She didn’t. I didn’t and still don’t.

The physical beatings stopped many years ago, more than half my life now, but the emotional beatings continued until today. I didn’t deserve what happened then and don’t deserve to beat myself up or let anyone else beat me up emotionally for something from so long ago. It happened. It’s over. I’ve forgiven. I’m moving on…. NEXT!

The Golden Rule - Loving More Effectively

We all know the Golden Rule "treat others the way you want them to treat you." Well sometimes we have to treat others as they treat us...

Relationships can be challenging. It's not always easy to know how to ensure your partner feels loved. Love is so many different things to so many different people. To one person love is red roses delivered at work while another love may be something like a home cooked meal or even a car wash. Some people feel love is elaborate gifts or vacations while others feel it is simply someone to talk to at the end of the day. To some it is sex and others a firm hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on. Love is all of these things but how do we know what our partner wants from us?

Look at how they love you.

We treat others the way we want to be treated. If our partner cooks us dinner every night (whether we want it or not) it is because that is their idea of showing love. Make them dinner one night and see their response if you don't believe me.

We come together with our partners for many reasons... Similarities we sometimes take for granted our partner knows what we want and so when our needs aren't met we take affront to it because we can feel they should know better. The differences that bring us together can cease to be exciting and make us feel like they just don't understand or know us at all. These can be frustrating experiences and we forget that we have the power to take back our relationship.

One of the easiest ways to take back the relationship is to bring back the romance. In order to do this effectively we must take a true look at our partner and what they want. We can't color their want with what we think would be nice (anyone ever hear the one about intentions and the road to hell?) we have to do what they think is an example of love.

I challenge you to do something romantic for your partner. Think of the romantic gestures they have shown you and do the same or something similar - it will not only show your partner you care but that you are also paying attention!

Our Mind's Eye

What a half a year.... That I haven't been doing my soul's despite has haunted me for over 6 months. I will admit it, I got wrapped up in working to pay bills to buy more than needed and live in a bit of excess. I was called a "workaholic" by my family and friends which I really didn't like. Don't get me wrong I have no problem with working but when it's not my passion it doesn't exactly make me the most fun person around.

We all do it. Try to do our best - for others. Well after working my butt off (funny saying because it really just spread instead of fell off) for over 2 years the economy took its toll and my hours got cut. At first I panicked with all the typical fears "What am I going to do?" and "How will I pay my bills?" and then my ego got puffed up and said "How dare they!" but it really doesn't have anything to do with any of those thoughts.

What am I going to do?

Well I am going to do ME! I had already signed up for a gym (something that the thought of always made me cringe) and quite smoking. I needed "Me Time" since I used to just wake up and work through the day and then have breakfast-lunch-dinner in one and wonder how I am so out of shape.... uh, maybe it was sitting in a chair all day for 2 1/2 years? I am also moving forward with the things I love to do. The first week was a strange one... I went on craigslist and looked at part time jobs but nothing really caught me. Sure there are things I CAN do and would probably get hired once interviewed (I have a 100% hiring rate for interviews - ask me how) but I didn't want to give up taking my daughter to and from school and I definitely wasn't about to give up the gym now that I found one I love and actually love the workout I do. It's time to really make this happen. I'm all yours and all mine again and it is an incredible feeling!

How will I pay my bills?

Well, with the hours I am keeping I will actually be able to pay my bills. I am getting creative again with a family newsletter I recently sent out and am available for resume updates and creations. I am babysitting which I love - nothing better than spending time with little unlimited potentials to help you feel the sky is limitless. I am also house-sitting which is great for a mini-vacation to help you get detailed ideas for your dreams. It's happening. God is providing and will continue to.

How dare they?

I will admit I spent a few days pretty pissed off about this one. Ego doesn't let go very easily and it refuses to be quieted.... but it can be. This one I allowed myself. To be mad until I wasn't anymore is what I told people. I was able to let it go after going to a free Landmark Education introduction the other night with two amazing women who have found amazing success doing the many things they love to do. It really has to do with the fact the company can't afford to keep me on full time right now, it's nothing personal as evidenced by the hours I am keeping. By removing my anger (the mask of hurt) I now see this is exactly what needed to happen for me to find my freedom, reignite my passion and walk securely that my future is that of dreams come true and not my desk full of other people's paperwork.