What a half a year.... That I haven't been doing my soul's despite has haunted me for over 6 months. I will admit it, I got wrapped up in working to pay bills to buy more than needed and live in a bit of excess. I was called a "workaholic" by my family and friends which I really didn't like. Don't get me wrong I have no problem with working but when it's not my passion it doesn't exactly make me the most fun person around.
We all do it. Try to do our best - for others. Well after working my butt off (funny saying because it really just spread instead of fell off) for over 2 years the economy took its toll and my hours got cut. At first I panicked with all the typical fears "What am I going to do?" and "How will I pay my bills?" and then my ego got puffed up and said "How dare they!" but it really doesn't have anything to do with any of those thoughts.
What am I going to do?
Well I am going to do ME! I had already signed up for a gym (something that the thought of always made me cringe) and quite smoking. I needed "Me Time" since I used to just wake up and work through the day and then have breakfast-lunch-dinner in one and wonder how I am so out of shape.... uh, maybe it was sitting in a chair all day for 2 1/2 years? I am also moving forward with the things I love to do. The first week was a strange one... I went on craigslist and looked at part time jobs but nothing really caught me. Sure there are things I CAN do and would probably get hired once interviewed (I have a 100% hiring rate for interviews - ask me how) but I didn't want to give up taking my daughter to and from school and I definitely wasn't about to give up the gym now that I found one I love and actually love the workout I do. It's time to really make this happen. I'm all yours and all mine again and it is an incredible feeling!
How will I pay my bills?
Well, with the hours I am keeping I will actually be able to pay my bills. I am getting creative again with a family newsletter I recently sent out and am available for resume updates and creations. I am babysitting which I love - nothing better than spending time with little unlimited potentials to help you feel the sky is limitless. I am also house-sitting which is great for a mini-vacation to help you get detailed ideas for your dreams. It's happening. God is providing and will continue to.
How dare they?
I will admit I spent a few days pretty pissed off about this one. Ego doesn't let go very easily and it refuses to be quieted.... but it can be. This one I allowed myself. To be mad until I wasn't anymore is what I told people. I was able to let it go after going to a free Landmark Education introduction the other night with two amazing women who have found amazing success doing the many things they love to do. It really has to do with the fact the company can't afford to keep me on full time right now, it's nothing personal as evidenced by the hours I am keeping. By removing my anger (the mask of hurt) I now see this is exactly what needed to happen for me to find my freedom, reignite my passion and walk securely that my future is that of dreams come true and not my desk full of other people's paperwork.
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